Thursday, April 11, 2013

Seeing Things More Closely.

It's really really hot here. 

And everything including the speed of my internet has slowed down. 

I sip on the jaljeera and listen to Regina Spektor, everything she's singing seems to echo in my head, soothing and lulling me into a really serene place, but in a halting fashion. 

I look up for the umpteenth time from my Finance text as she stops singing and the internet buffers.It buffers for quite a while...seconds that tick into minutes that tick into what seems like an eternity. 


I lie down, look at the fan spinning incessantly above me and look out of the window. Constant motion that melts into a perpetual stillness. 

And she starts singing again, for two minutes. And then halt. 

I continue looking out. The stillness outside is stifling, till I hear a faint chirping of a bird and almost on cue a voice calls out. A maid, probably, asking if anything else was needed. They start ever so early...visiting house after house till way into the noon, till all the households are satisfied.  It is then that they can retire into their musty heat emanating shelter and cook, feed, their children their husband and then themselves. 

Everyday I encounter such selflessness, staring right at me in the face but somehow I don't see it. I don't feel it. 

I don't want to be numb anymore. 

I don't know what has changed, or if anything has at all. But I am not oblivious. I don't want to be oblivious. 

I want to wake up from this serene place......hold myself up high and really see....look... at everything with equal fervor. 

Fervor is important.

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