Tuesday, August 27, 2013

10 Reasons Why I Can't Take Myself Seriously. And Why You Should Avoid Me. Wow. Now I Know Why Nobody Replies To My Messages.


I read  this postrecently from a blog called The Globe Slother

I noticed how quickly it gained likes, shares and tweets everywhere.

This made me ponder if being a good blogger was all about putting what’s in your head succinctly in a point-wise format.As much as I'd like to talk about what being a Bong entails, I relish not getting hate mails so, I will stick to me or people I know when it comes to making lists. 

 This post is me, trying to be a good blogger, and presenting –10 reasons why I freak myself out a little.

1)     Whenever I see a lyric video on YouTube, I have to sing along. It doesn’t matter if I’ve never even heard the song before. It’s an unspoken rule. Sometimes I end up sounding like a wolf in a full moon’s night, and end up thinking of possible werewolf names for myself.

2)    Swollen tonsils scare me so much that when my mother asked me to check if she had them, all I could think of..was.what I’d seen...and hating my life a little. Then, I just prayed and thanked God that I am not a doctor.It's very gross. You don't want to see swollen tonsils. I love my mother. But I hate that she made me do this. 

3)    Also I think I’m turning into this really fat blob, because I tore my dress twice while trying to sit on the floor. Why was I trying to sit on the floor? Because I like the feel of cold, hard floor, beneath me. Stop laughing.Or maybe just to pray to God that I'm not a doctor you know? Whose laughing now?

4)    Everybody in my neighbourhood thinks I am this really good girl. I feel sorry for them because they have no idea what is going on in my head most of the time. This kid was running determinedly to some place like...his life depended on it and I had to really control the urge to shout "Bhaag Milkha Bhaag" at him.And then laugh in my head, at how much that would freak him out. OMG I'm evil. Save me.

5)    Writing is disorienting for me, in that, when I stop writing I feel like my whole world has started spinning, literally, and then I realise I was twirling in my twirly chair the whole time, while writing . Those chairs should be banned from  the office. But it was quite a head rush, if you ask me. (warning: don't try this at home. Try this at office, when you're bored as hell). 

6)   You should  probably not collide with me, at night, after I’ve watched Paranormal Activity...because there will be chances that even if Paranormal Activity didn’t scare you the noises escaping my throat will.

7)    I am very.very.scared of meeting people. I have these unreasonable fears that my dress is going to pop open, or I will say something super silly, or bore the person to death. And then I have a dead body to take care of... OMG daunting stuff. How do people do this? All I want to do is stay at home and work from my computer..is that too much to ask for?Related: I have a problem.

8)  Gmail does this insanely weird thing where, if you log out of one account and log into another (yes I have two) I am still on-line from the other account. Seeing yourself on-line is creepy. There's this whole parallel universe thing that comes into play.

 9) I can't pour water into a glass, without spilling it. I swear. It's like reflex. Something tells me if I had to play the role of a drunk girl in a movie I'd be very good at it. 

10) I start reading self help books and really go all the way to imbibe what they're trying to say( like attending a course). And then I never finish it. Because every time I don't do what they're asking me to do, I feel guilty and I feel like I'm betraying the author so I don't touch the book after that. I have failed many courses like these... and it's always a sore point, in my head. I don't know why I set myself up for disappointment like this, I can't pour water straight into a glass, everything else should be a logical explanation, a follow up of the water point. You know? Like oooo I have trust issues. But I really can't pour water into a jar without spilling it...so trust issues should follow. Wow...am I making metaphorical sense now? 

That last point is too long and rambly. Just ignore it. 

Wow this was hard. Not because I had to write them down, but because I can't believe myself sometimes. I blame the planet Earth. Because it's a watery planet.

 Sheesh. I'm fucked. 

2 comments:

  1. Yeah, I don't think you should take yourself seriously either. Lol. Earth IS a watery planet!

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    Replies
    1. ~looks sheepish~
      That's liberating though...not taking myself seriously is sometimes very liberating! :D

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