Saturday, August 24, 2013

You Know You Are Probably Being Robbed, When You're Feeling Cold. For More Details: Consult My Family.

A few days ago, my mother updated her bank passbook and couldn't account for Rs 613.50 that was spent. She got very alarmed. I was with her the whole time, and I'm usually thinking about my imaginary kitten to really notice, that my mother is working herself up over this. 

And then she turns to me and asks me if I've used her card to pay for some of these exams I have to sit for, and I promptly say no. 

Except I did. 

It takes one hour for me to remember this, however. 

By that time, my mother is almost considering going to the Police station, because she believes in over achieving protocols. 

So I tell her meekly, that I am, in fact,  the imaginary thief she's losing her mind over. 

My mother is totally outraged by how forgetful I am and recounts the situation angrily to my cousin brother and his mom (my aunt), later. 

Grumpy cat lemonade Meme |
My mother is the original Grumpy Cat, this is something she would really say...and say it hard(replace sugar and water by "common sense" and "mental alertness" ! 

And my brother chirps in: But why would a robber hack into your bank account and only withdraw Rs 613.50 and not Rs600,000? Seriously why would anyone give a shit about fifty paise? 

Mom: But that is not the point!

Bro: But it is worth thinking about,isn't it? Like the last time you woke us all up in the middle of the night on our holiday in Puri because you thought that there were robbers in our cottage!

Mom: I did? 

Bro: yeah, and to validate your statement you sited that the air conditioner temperature was lower than it was when we went to bed. I lowered the temperature. But that's not the point...the point is, why would a thief tip toe into the room and instead of robbing us blind, lower the ac temperature and  leave

Aunt: Maybe he was just trying to make it colder so our bodies would decompose slowly and he would have enough time to get away with his loot, after he's slit our throats. Ever thought of that genius? 

Bro: Except your throat was fine, because that's what woke us up. You were screaming cause Bomsy (that's what he calls my mom) freaked you out and your foldable bed snapped back and you were just lying there stuck in an awkward bed sandwich, till we came and got you. 

Then he turns to my mother and adds, " see? nothing good can come of this".

By that time, both my mother and my aunt are too embarrassed to really say anything.

And I'm trying hard to keep a straight face, because all of the sights of that fatal night in Puri are making funny faces at me, and daring me to laugh. 

This is what family's for...right? To dissipate blame by bringing up more embarrassing stories from the grave? 

Also, notice how seamlessly my cousin brother defended me, without making it too obvious. 

That's good team work. 

Hi 5 Bro. Hi 5. 


  1. Good team work indeed! Too funny!

    1. :) thanks so much! It always feels so good to be cool elder sister that your teenage brother looks up to. Except when I'm not, and then he has my back. :)