Tuesday, October 13, 2015

Vashti- 'Hate and Murder and Madness Incarnate She Stood'

What do you do when you feel restless, annoyed and helpless beyond measure?

You cook a simple fried egg and cheese sandwich. I know it's not a genius solution. But there's immense cheering up potential there, especially if you're trying to turn into a pseudo veg person who eats fish but no meat. 

I tell everyone it's because the monk said it helps with handling anger issues. And then they raise their eyebrow and say "But you don't have anger issues." (the you is in italics because they know my mother's best friend is rage, so I couldn't possibly be my mother's daughter...I must see sense? ) And then I have to grin and not talk about all the horrible things I do when I am angry because no one likes to see cracks in things they thought were perfect or beyond flaw. 

No one likes cynics. I would be a cynic if I said, "yeah I do actually. I hurt people. I hurt myself. And in the throes of anger, I have taken reckless decisions that have affected my life in the worst possible ways." I tell them..."No I know, and that advise isn't for me per say, the monk was speaking generally...it's just something I thought I'd try...you know..I need to lose some weight anyway." 

And then they sit back, watch the show instead of worrying about how much of it could ever be real...

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