Friday, November 13, 2015

A Theory - A Fevered Soul

I have a theory.

And it's going to sound very elitist.

But I believe that the world has a strange way of sifting souls... of seeing what's working and what's not...and then combining it in proportions that it thinks is best. For example a "new" soul may have a little bit of Sinatra, a touch of Christie, the grace of Hepburn and such like... a whole new soul altogether...but with little bits and pieces that light up with familiar bits and pieces from the past....maybe we find matches in others with others who journey with us through life..."soulmates" we call them. 

But sometimes there are those sad moments of disillusion when you say:

"That is not it at all, 
That is not what I meant, at all" 

Because somehow we always perceive a person as one suits us better to sum them all up. At certain stages of life one part of the soul is probably more dominant than the rest and due to one sad incident or several we leave that part with the people they connected with and allow the other parts to speak...mould into us... 

Some of these combinations "work" and the rest are probably reserved in a soul "conservatory" to be summoned when the world needs some of it. The world must have needs too right? Just like us, except I always imagine the needs of the world are more abstract and geometrical for some reason- A piece of cheese on a string of gold and other such strange demands. 

It's a fear that my obscure soul will be kept in the conservatory sooner rather than later. It's not a fear as much as it's a niggling sadness that won't leave me because I have to wonder if there'll be a second chance? And even if there were a second chance why would I pin everything on it rather than the one I have now. Heights of procrastination I right? 

And what really is the tipping point? What sends your soul off the edge to the conservatory? It's been a week of strange dreams, of running away from them and sometimes....never wanting them to stop. Dreams must be like the beacons right? The way your soul communicates with your mind? Shows you what you really want...and all you can do is run. Hah. 

This Diwali, I wish you better running shoes... ones that guide you and eventually take you to exactly where you belong. 


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