Monday, June 6, 2016

Unlocking Time

"Jaoar shomoy toh eshe i gelo" - ( Your date of departure is creeping in closer every day), they say. 

I shrug because that's how days work. 

Wouldn't it be cool if I left without a fuss or tears or any nostalgia to haunt me- nostalgia about my life, my world and this beautiful city I've lived in for 26 years now? I might just pull it off you know, just pretend I am home the whole time- stay in denial-  easy peasy right? There's a part of me that's waiting for a last minute dreadful mail where they say, "Oh that was a mistake, sorry we didn't mean you when we sent that mail about the application being accepted." Is it weird that that's making me terrified and hopeful at the same time? 

John Green writes, " It is so hard to leave - until you leave. And then it is the easiest god damned thing in the world." The hard part though? Is not figuring out what or who are the people I will miss. It's those little unobtrusive things that I've taken so much for granted the, "..unnoticed and the necessary" as Margaret Atwood puts it. 

Making a list of these things felt right, because these are those little blocks that will create my world- there.If I don't know the bases and the concepts, much like my academic career, the picture will remain incomplete..forever. 

 Not recreating the entire list here, sharing snapshots though.  

Kaalo Jam. I don't think this has an english equivalent for a name. Sprinkle
some rock salt, sugar, salt and refrigerate. Summer is sorted B-)
I think you could call it burgundy berry that is a beautiful purple inside. I refuse to settle for it's literal translation - blackberry - that it isn't. Kaalo Jam and I are old buddies, so much so that the shade of kaalo jam is my favourite thing to wear - my spectacles, my favourite shade of lipstick, all have a smear of kaalo jam in them. 

Where life goes by...
This picture is not about the stuff in it, it's more about what it represents for me. Mom is always out and about- the house, is mine most of the time. And this is the place I've lazed around, watched endless number of movies or just fiddled with my phone or laptop, studied, chatted with people who drop by on rare occasions - we are not a very social people. You can tell by the size of that couch :P The light would stream in from that window and the birds would go about their chattering, the faint rush of the breeze, the smell of freshly laundered cushion covers (fresh cotton cloths have a heady smell, try it) - I'd call it idyllic but this was just...normal. 

A little bit of my domain and a whole lot of mummy's- my love for the green and nature springs entirely from her. That little sturdy hibiscus plant is the latest addition. The flowers are white, ethereal, I'll miss watching you grow. 

When trees greet you in the middle of your walk
My city has a gentle soul, like a mother's. It would make my mother remark, "Get off its lap, it's spoiling you. " Lap in Bengali = kol. Short name for my city = Kol. In Bengali, it roughly translates to "Get off the kol of Kol." and everybody would nod gravely. ~sigh~ 

I wanted to memorise every leaf and remember once how I was gifted a twig of this beauty, because I'd fallen and hurt my head. I'd taken the twig and wanted to wear it wedged between my ear and hair like hippies did in movies, it had fallen off. As disappointing as that was, it also taught me how everything may not be as real as they seem and sometimes, beauty can't be captured and made a part of you, no matter how hard you tried. 

Adore the little meet and greet taking place between the trees here. Reminds me of the rare times that I meet people and the good day that it always ends up being. 

That's it for now....I'll update this as and when I take pictures, which I'm sure I the run up to  days being days and bringing me closer to a bitter-sweet parting. 

Update 1 ( 30.06.2016): 

We are experiencing panic in waves now and the city is offering me daring consolation. It is the kind of summer where it would be totally appropriate to fall in love, grow some roots, dare to dream in happy beginnings...and yet, I must leave. 

Update 2 (13.07.2016):

This is the second time I went back to school.  If you follow me on Twitter, you'll know what these are- our art teacher hand painted these coasters of our school houses. The wrapping paper resembles our school uniform! Hah! I belonged to Lotus House. We had 8 houses...all named after flowers! I know. Perks of going back to school to talk on World Population Day!

While preparing for my talk, I found that there couldn't be a more dry topic- it is really difficult to make this sound interesting - John Green could but I am no John Green! Surprisingly though? I got chorus answers, excited questions and beaming teachers who couldn't praise enough. But teachers are like mommies, they will gloss over the trip ups.

 It felt good so good. :)

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