Monday, June 27, 2016

What Necrophilia And Pretty Wedding Cards Share In Common

There is the stumble when you find yourself at an age where certain things don't excite you as much as they should. Marriage, for instance. I'm yet to figure out completely, exactly what that's supposed to mean and what is it that I don't like about it. But this post is not a rant about marriage. 

On the contrary, I wanted to share the one aspect of marriage that I love - it's silly, but I am a complete idiot about pretty wedding cards. They don't have to be fancy or anything, just the ones that you know tell a story-carefully thought of ones. 

And then a part of me asks me, Why D, Why do you hate trees so much? It's a complete waste of paper and God knows what else. 

But Look! (does this count as copyright infringement?) I am sorry,
But this is just to make you see what I mean. 
Also I get it if you don't get it. That's okay, to each weird obsession his/her own I say! 

Then a brilliant idea strikes me that I share on a Whatsapp group ( that's how Whatsapp works, if you aren't in a Whatsapp group you aren't doing it right, apparently.)

Me: If I ever married, I would have used dead leaves to send out invitations- you know just the ordinary ones that we keep trampling on. It would have been brilliant but you know, some things are better left to the imagination. 

Hesitant Friend 1 : We can work something out using those for sure. 

Me: Really? Like, how about I get married just to see this whole amazing dead-leaves-for-wedding-cards idea through. And then I hack hubby to death on my wedding night and bury him under the pile of leaves that will I'm sure accumulate around the place, you know from all the "littering" except it's not littering, because it came from the ground anyway? Okay I am getting excited about this! you guys have to help me bury the body. 

Hesitant Friend 1 : You finally mustered up some courage and got started on those GoT episodes that the whole world has seen 5 years ago, didn't you? 

Hesitant Friend 2: D, sometimes I read what you say, chuckle a bit and then pray to God that it is a joke. 

Yes, I do tend to elicit that response in general. I'm like that weird Necrophilia post that's doing the rounds on Fb. Unintentionally funny but will make you wince and laugh at the same time nonetheless- a very difficult response to elicit, if you ask me. 

Yup. This happened. Also someone shared this on my timeline, in a ooo new
word, how cool kind of way- and not look at this craziness kind of way?
I don't know what to be more disturbed about, now. 

Saturday, June 25, 2016

Not Alone

Timon of Athens 

Act I 

Scene II. A banqueting room in Timon's house 

Music. Re-enter Cupid with a mask of Ladies as Amazons, with lutes in their hands, dancing and playing 


Hoy day, what a sweep of vanity comes this way!
They dance! they are mad women. 
Like madness is the glory of this life. 
As this pomp shows to a little oil and root 
We make ourselves fools, to disport ourselves;
And spend our flatteries,to drink those men
Upon whose age we void it up again, 
With poisonous spite and envy. 
Who lives that's not depraved or depraves?
Who dies, that bears not one spurn to their graves
Of their friends' gift?
I should fear those that dance before me now
Would one day stamp upon me: 't has been done; 
Men shut their doors against a setting sun

Recently, Katie Mack @AstroKatie tweeted: 

Remember that your attention is a gift and your willingness to debate is a choice. You're under no obligation to help someone be less wrong. 

I agree with this so hard, I want to tattoo it all over me. It helped me tide over this week. Not tide over really, more like thrash about,drown and somehow manage to move forward, with oodles of water flooding my insides and knocking the wind out of me. If you're dealing with hatred, negativity and hurt right now, know that I am thinking about you. Know that I'm sending out oodles of cosmic love into the universe, for you.

 I have to or I'll never get past the pain to remind myself that I am in fact... not alone. 

Saturday, June 18, 2016

Happy Sad...

As You Like It 

Act I

Scene II. Lawn before the Duke's Palace


Dear Celia, I show more mirth than I am mistress of; 
And would you yet I were merrier? 

Life is being lived at the moment and I need some time to put it all into a coherent perspective. 

So instead of long rambling blog posts I'll leave you with a happy picture: 

The sun was shining just right...

Sunday, June 12, 2016

Breathe In, Breathe Out

A Midsummer Night's Dream 


SCENE I. Athens.The Palace of THESEUS


Four days will quickly steep themselves in night;
Four nights will quickly dream away the time;
And then the moon, like to a silver bow
New-bent in heaven, shall behold the night
Of our solemnities

If I charted out this week in terms of events and general sense of merriment, it would reach a peak somewhere in the middle and then dip low, very low over the weekend. If the week were a person, she'd be the one bustling with the nerves and the pressure of entertaining until she finally gives up, takes off her pants and raises an ugly finger to the world. I try to calm her down. I do not enjoy the socialising myself.

The nights are perhaps the only time of the day that are utterly mine, now. And I've never been happier chasing dawns. 

Monday, June 6, 2016

Unlocking Time

"Jaoar shomoy toh eshe i gelo" - ( Your date of departure is creeping in closer every day), they say. 

I shrug because that's how days work. 

Wouldn't it be cool if I left without a fuss or tears or any nostalgia to haunt me- nostalgia about my life, my world and this beautiful city I've lived in for 26 years now? I might just pull it off you know, just pretend I am home the whole time- stay in denial-  easy peasy right? There's a part of me that's waiting for a last minute dreadful mail where they say, "Oh that was a mistake, sorry we didn't mean you when we sent that mail about the application being accepted." Is it weird that that's making me terrified and hopeful at the same time? 

John Green writes, " It is so hard to leave - until you leave. And then it is the easiest god damned thing in the world." The hard part though? Is not figuring out what or who are the people I will miss. It's those little unobtrusive things that I've taken so much for granted the, "..unnoticed and the necessary" as Margaret Atwood puts it. 

Making a list of these things felt right, because these are those little blocks that will create my world- there.If I don't know the bases and the concepts, much like my academic career, the picture will remain incomplete..forever. 

 Not recreating the entire list here, sharing snapshots though.  

Kaalo Jam. I don't think this has an english equivalent for a name. Sprinkle
some rock salt, sugar, salt and refrigerate. Summer is sorted B-)
I think you could call it burgundy berry that is a beautiful purple inside. I refuse to settle for it's literal translation - blackberry - that it isn't. Kaalo Jam and I are old buddies, so much so that the shade of kaalo jam is my favourite thing to wear - my spectacles, my favourite shade of lipstick, all have a smear of kaalo jam in them. 

Where life goes by...
This picture is not about the stuff in it, it's more about what it represents for me. Mom is always out and about- the house, is mine most of the time. And this is the place I've lazed around, watched endless number of movies or just fiddled with my phone or laptop, studied, chatted with people who drop by on rare occasions - we are not a very social people. You can tell by the size of that couch :P The light would stream in from that window and the birds would go about their chattering, the faint rush of the breeze, the smell of freshly laundered cushion covers (fresh cotton cloths have a heady smell, try it) - I'd call it idyllic but this was just...normal. 

A little bit of my domain and a whole lot of mummy's- my love for the green and nature springs entirely from her. That little sturdy hibiscus plant is the latest addition. The flowers are white, ethereal, I'll miss watching you grow. 

When trees greet you in the middle of your walk
My city has a gentle soul, like a mother's. It would make my mother remark, "Get off its lap, it's spoiling you. " Lap in Bengali = kol. Short name for my city = Kol. In Bengali, it roughly translates to "Get off the kol of Kol." and everybody would nod gravely. ~sigh~ 

I wanted to memorise every leaf and remember once how I was gifted a twig of this beauty, because I'd fallen and hurt my head. I'd taken the twig and wanted to wear it wedged between my ear and hair like hippies did in movies, it had fallen off. As disappointing as that was, it also taught me how everything may not be as real as they seem and sometimes, beauty can't be captured and made a part of you, no matter how hard you tried. 

Adore the little meet and greet taking place between the trees here. Reminds me of the rare times that I meet people and the good day that it always ends up being. 

That's it for now....I'll update this as and when I take pictures, which I'm sure I the run up to  days being days and bringing me closer to a bitter-sweet parting. 

Update 1 ( 30.06.2016): 

We are experiencing panic in waves now and the city is offering me daring consolation. It is the kind of summer where it would be totally appropriate to fall in love, grow some roots, dare to dream in happy beginnings...and yet, I must leave. 

Update 2 (13.07.2016):

This is the second time I went back to school.  If you follow me on Twitter, you'll know what these are- our art teacher hand painted these coasters of our school houses. The wrapping paper resembles our school uniform! Hah! I belonged to Lotus House. We had 8 houses...all named after flowers! I know. Perks of going back to school to talk on World Population Day!

While preparing for my talk, I found that there couldn't be a more dry topic- it is really difficult to make this sound interesting - John Green could but I am no John Green! Surprisingly though? I got chorus answers, excited questions and beaming teachers who couldn't praise enough. But teachers are like mommies, they will gloss over the trip ups.

 It felt good so good. :)

Sunday, June 5, 2016

I am trying something new here- Shakespeare Sundays. Don't roll your eyes at my original and creative thinking!

The rain is like an actor on stage, thumping and hammering out the lines with an intent to prick us to the core, unsettle us, think of dark wishful thoughts.

While I've let my blatantly pin-pricked-reverse-of-a-bubble-wrap soul wander and find its kinship with the rain, I've entered the "long dark tea time of the soul" as Douglas Adams would call it. 

"In the end, it was the Sunday afternoons he couldn’t cope with…
as you stare at the clock the hands will move relentlessly on to four o’clock,
 and you will enter  the long dark teatime of the soul."
Image Source:

It is precisely, four o' clock at the moment. An extremely mediocre idea has brewed my mind an ugly fuming shade, so here  goes nothing. 

How about a little Sunday routine for the blog?

Introducing-  Shakespeare Sundays- And while my skin roils and reduces to feeling like the rain soaked mud outside, because I can hear you saying "how unoriginal and boring!" Let's just say, you're reading a blog that has a page entitled "Music and Me (Because I suck at Page Titles).  You have been warned, my friend.  Indeed, I am terrible at naming things- there's a certain finality to it that is hateful. 

Maybe I won't keep at it, like the several abandoned things and projects that my life encircles and eddies out of, under the pretext of "convenience"

So here's the plan - every Sunday I'll put up a quote by Shakespeare here, something that reflects the week that's been, the things and ideas that have been topmost on my mind and other such sundry sources of inspiration- as simple as that. 

Unlike today, there will be Sundays, I am sure, where I just put the quote up without such a long preamble. Some Sundays, I will ramble. C'est La Vie. 

Why Shakespeare? Sir Ian Mckellan says, "Anyone who finds studying Shakespeare difficult should remember that Shakespeare didn't intend you to read these plays."

 So here's the thing, let's not "study" him? (unless you're in school, study away then, this is an interesting time to study Shakespeare. Seriously, I envy you. ) Let's read him. Let's give him a chance to get off that pulpit and sit next to us, nod his head at the tedium of life and say something clever about it- enormously clever and beautiful, but that's just Will. 

This week I am quoting from :

The Tragedy of Macbeth 

Act I
Scene I. A desert place. 
Thunder and lightning. Enter three Witches. 

First Witch 
When shall we three meet again 
In thunder, lightning,or in rain? 

Second Witch 
When the hurly burly's done, 
When the battle's lost and won. 

Third Witch 
That will be ere the set of sun. 

Do you hear it? The crazy thunder? Does it make your heart beat faster? Are you scared? Don't be. Listen to them. They have a timeline- a reassuring calming timeline.  And you let the rain pour and sweep through your being- waiting for their prophecies to, one day,  come true.